Running in the rain, wet, dark and windy world of unreached goals

Had I only looked THIS good, and had I only been accompanied by THIS guy.
Photo credit: Nike

My run tonight was wet, dark and extremely windy. I didn´t want to go, to be honest. The deal, however, is that I have a goal, and if I am going to reach my goal I must show up to my dates. My goal is a race I plan to run in December, and the only way I will be able to cross that finish line is by faithfully doing my duty in the weeks leading up to it. Unfortunately for me, most of my training will happen during the darkest, wettest, nastiest month of the year. Which is now. Not only that, but my routes all include uphills, and the one I ran tonight was the worst. It sucked.

At the same time as it sucked, it didn’t. This is the paradox of running in the dark, wet, windy and cold November nights. In a morbid kind of a way, it also feels good. It feels good that my legs move, that my face gets showered with playful raindrops, that my jacket keeps me dry against all odds, that there is a symphony playing all around and there is just me, the dark, the rain and the wind. Even the pain of conquering the hill was a good feeling. I was alive.

The analogy is too obvious, but I will share it anyway. I thought about my other goals while running. They are many. Some are grandiose, like changing the world. Others are more puny, like organising the messy drawer in the kitchen. But I was reminded that none of my goals will be accomplished unless I make an effort. I was also reminded that when one has a goal, there will be obstacles. One makes a choice every time one is faced with one. You can jump over the obstacle, or you can choose to turn and go home to the cozy and warm living room.

I read the most inspiring article today on brainpickings.org Seems like van Gogh and I have a lot of similar thoughts. Just that van Gogh was able to express them so much better than me. In the book: Ever Yours: Essential Letters, he too writes about  goals and of success.

Van Gogh. What a man!

This is what he says to his brother, Theo:

For the great doesn´t happen through impulse alone, and it is a succession of little things brought together. 

Could it be said much better? No goal will be accomplished by good intentions, nor by excuses, such as bad weather. I don´t know everybody´s goals in life, nor do I know all the obstacles people face. But I DO know this: Impulse is not going to create great, unless there  are actions following. Van Gogh continues to tell his brother:

The great isn´t something accidental, it must be willed. 

Then van Gogh graciously continues:

Even if one loses here and there, and even if one sometimes feels a sort of decline, the point is nevertheless to revive and have courage, even though things don´t turn out as one first thought. 

I don´t know the goals people have. I am just barely able to state my own. But, like I am telling myself, I will tell others: Create goals, then reach the goals by stringing many little actions together. Do not let the rain, the wind or the dark stop you from taking step towards fulfilling your goals. If you get there, you can be assured it wasn´t by accident. It was willed, and you fought for it. What feeling could be better?

Way back then, the goal was 5K

It is human nature to want to be good

This is me when I read the news: Humanitarian crisis: Read fast and try to forget. News about some celebrity: Stop, read and look at pictures. If the scandal is big, I will look for a follow-up.

I wasn’t sure I wanted to write the above sentences because it is so embarrassing. Me, and aid-worker, skipping the news from Syria so I can read about George Clooney. To my defense, I have to say that I do spend some time on political analysis and editorials as well. But this is not my point.

It’s been just over a week since the terrible typhoon hit the Philippines. Already we are losing interest. Today it was Toronto’s mayor Ford that was top news on CNN. How much interest do you think we are getting constantly nagging people about the ongoing humanitarian crisis in Burma? Judging from my own reaction to sadness and misery in the news, chances are very high that people get bored of us (in Partners) always talking about people starving and getting sick because they don’t have medicine. Royal babies are a lot more interesting.

Media knows what sells. And they sell. We are naive enough to fall into their traps. When we stop reading, they stop writing. It seems that now they have noticed that we can’t handle much more sorrow from the Philippines. It messes up our dinner routines. It makes us uncomfortable.  

We feel meaningful when we do something to help others. Selling flowers for Partners.

But I did notice one thing last week that made me happy. People care more than I thought. As images from broken homes and broken lives hit us in our living rooms, people all over the world spontaneously started doing things to help. Most collected money that they gave to charities they trusted. The ways they would collect the money impressed me. People’s imagination and creativity soar higher the bigger the crisis it seems.

I thought about why it is this way. Instead of asking Why don’t we care more, I asked Why would we care. Because, really, it seems like most people care about themselves first, and then about the people closest to them. Which would make the people on the Philippines, or Burma for that matter, seem very far away.

We are kinder than our reputation. Naomi, my daughter, playing with an orphaned girl.

Two things stood out:

We are kinder than our reputation. Humans actually do care and want to help when they just are given a specific task and need.

We want to feel like we are doing something meaningful with our lives. And what can be more meaningful than helping people who are dying? What could be more satisfying than to know that you have made a difference in somebody’s life? I can’t think of many things. I think that humanitarian crisis bring out the best in many of us. There are of course exemptions here like everywhere. Evil rulers and pedophiles for example. But I am talking about people like you and me who are trying to live our lives here on the planet as best as we can. We spend most of our time doing stuff we don’t really know why we are doing. And then when we get an opportunity to do something that really matters and we rise and shine.

Our staff caring for a poor, handicapped homeless man from Burma.

I wish we would keep it up! I wish we wouldn’t stop caring about the Philippines when media stops writing about it. I wish we would not stop caring about Burma because it rarely is in the news anymore. I wish we would have the endurance of a marathon runner. I wish we would spend our energies and resources to care for the ones who are broken. Because, the way I see it, when we do that, we don’t just mend them. We are also mended.

 

 

Did you ever run for life?

Today I ran for life.

The trail by the ocean was beautiful—yellow and orange trees were on the sidelines, cheering me on. Dead leaves covered the trail like a blanket for me to run on. The air was crisp and clear. On my run I passed people walking and some jogging slowly. I, myself, was passed by many who were faster than me.

In spite of the beauty and the serenity of the trail, I felt like I was running for life. The run did me a lot of good. Of that I am sure. Every time I run, I feel like I increase the length of my life here on Earth a bit. I moved my body, I breathed fresh air, I interacted with lots of people who energized me.

But the real reason I knew I was running for life was the fact that I was running a race raising money so children in Burma could go to school. Watch a video here.

Before the race I shared with the participants about the people I have met who are literally running for their lives. When they run to hide from the attack of the enemy’s soldiers, they are not thinking about their health. They are thinking about survival. Two weeks ago I talked to a man and a woman who told me they could not even remember how many times they had ran. But at least 20 just the last year.

It was not the first time I heard that kind of story.

What I thought was so cool about the race we did today was that we could have fun, we could exercise and we could laugh while we were doing a good deed. I think we all need to realize that helping others can be fun and rewarding.

I also liked to see how different people used their talents and skills and made the day a success. Some young people are music students. So they entertained with music. 15-20 young and athletic soccer players have bodies that can run to the moon (or at least a very long way.) So they ran more laps than any of us, and raised more money than any of us too.

Honestly, you people, would you not like to run if these were the guys you were running after? Photo by Levanger Avisa

My friend, Anne Sofie, has the gift of administration and also, I may add, telling people what to do. So she was in charge of the whole shebang. I was so glad she did all that and I did not have to. It would have been a disaster with me in charge. Seriously.

So I have many thoughts tonight:

When we attend Run for Relief (that is what we call our race in English. In Norwegian we call it Run for Life, which I actually like better) the benefits are many:

We get fit. We get to be outside. Our hometown or whatever get great exposure. We raise money while having fun (if you don’t think running is fun, try walking.)

Best of all, we raise tons of money that will enable, in this case, hundreds of children to go to school.

What is there not to like about this concept?

Actually, I am thinking that you ought to arrange a race like this yourself. Ask your friends to join you. I am not kidding. Here, read about it here. And if you are in Norway, here.

Would it not be cool if the whole world joined us in small charity runs that made us healthier and happier while we also got to help children in need, in Burma, and other places? The Boston Marathon must be great. But how much greater is it to run a marathon to help others at the same time. That is my kind of running.

Some people, as you can see, did not try to break speed records, but were more concerned with having a good time. Which, of course, is fine. Photo by Levanger Avisa

 

 

 

 

Do what you love!

Watch this today! I did and now I am not about to waste my life! Life is about the people I meet. If I don’t like something, then change it! Life is simple. And it goes on and on. Watch and let me know what you think. Did you love it? I did.

When losing is good

My daughter Kristin’s voice was thick and full of tears and snot. She called me all the way from Sweden where she is playing a week-long soccer tournament with teams from all over Scandinavia.

“We lost,” was all she could say before the tears took over again, and she was not able to control her voice. They lost 2-1, so it was not terribly humiliating. It was a respectable loss. But for Kristin it was a catastrophe. Because this is the first loss this season. Her team has been unbeatable this year, and when they win, they do not win with just a couple of points. They win with such a huge margin that the opposing team leave the field wondering if they ever again should play a soccer game.

Kristin plays to win, which is good. But when she loses she needs to learn that there is something to learn from a loss.

But today it was Kristin’s team’s turn to lose. “They were good,” Kristin said about the team. “But the hard thing was that we lost because the referee seemed to favor the other team.” The coach later told me that the referee did in fact take sides during the game, which made the loss even harder to deal with.

I wasn’t there for the game, so I cannot say if the referee was fair or not. All I could tell Kristin was that she must use the loss today for all it is worth and come back stronger for the game tomorrow. She sighed deeply and said she was going to try. Tomorrow Steve and I will be there watching as well, and you can bet that we won’t put up with any nonsense from any referee.

Losing is so hard. It’s hard to lose a soccer game. But it is also hard to lose an argument. Who of us want to lose? Not me.

And just as losing is so difficult, winning is so nice. It feels so good to be a winner! To be right, to be the fastest, to be the smartest, to be the prettiest.

But it is during losses we learn. It is during those times we grow, get stronger and smarter. It is in losing we can take a look at ourselves and understand how we can do better.

One has to try to lose in order to fully appreciate winning.

My little niece said something that sounded so childish at the time. We were watching my oldest daughter run a race, and she was not having one of her best days. As I sighed anxiously, my niece who is almost seven, said: “But who wants to win all the time? That is boring. One has to try to lose to, and one has to try to be in the middle. Then you can understand how all that feels too. And then you can decide to win after that.” I thought that was wise. Unless we sometimes lose, we will never know what it feels like.

Or like the proverb from Iceland says: It is only by losing one understand the value of winning.

 

 

Talking about exercising the faith muscles

Today I have been preparing my teachings for when I am going to speak at New Life Church in Stockholm this weekend. When I prepare teachings, it goes something like this:

Trying to get inspired by the view outside

Write down some random thoughts. Look at previous teachings and take some good nuggets from them. Thinking about eating something. Looking something up on the internet. Looking something up in books. Writing some emails. Checking Facebook. Writing some thoughts. Adding some words. Getting up and looking out through the window. Thinking about what I shall wear. Looking at what I have pulled together and deciding it does not look good at all. Starting over again. Deciding to only use key words and hopefully remember what the key words mean. Changing my mind. Writing everything down, like I am writing an essay. Shutting the computer and going to make coffee. Thinking that this sucks and is the worst teaching ever. Getting a thought, and starting with that. Doing the whole process over again. And this is what happens when you give a mouse a cookie.

OK, well. This is extreme, but it is true, nevertheless.

But, here is a paragraph I wrote that is part of the teaching. It is out of context, but it may still speak to you. And if you happen to be in Stockholm, look up New Life church and hear the rest of the story.

In exercise we have learned this: In order to get in better shape, to get more defined; to get stronger and prettier, we need to change our exercise routine often. You can do your 5K every day at a comfortable pace the rest of your life and never get out of shape. But it is by doing intervals, by changing the pace, the terrain, the length of the run, it is by pushing yourself until it hurts that you will notice changes. The same with strength training. The same with raising kids.

I think this is how it is with faith too.  We can keep doing the same faith routine every day for the rest of our lives, and we will make it into heaven. We will go to the Sunday morning services and then for lunch afterwards. Nice Christians. Safe Jesus.

But if you want to build some real faith muscles, then change the routine. (dot, dot, dot)

Change the exercise routine perhaps

Winners never quit

It was a big event. Kristin had planned what to wear for days. It actually resulted in two trips to the store because the first dress was not perfect. It was also a day when Kristin appreciated having older sisters who helped her with her hair and makeup. Of course, we are talking about the Christmas ball. Her dance school arranged a ball, it was Kristin’s first ever. 

Some of the privileges with older sisters.

The Waltz was perfect.

First the parade

And so were the other dances. She allowed Daddy one dance with her. The rest was dedicated to the boys who were all stylish in their shirts and ties. To be almost 11!

When they finished she got a card from her dance teacher and her husband. They had written words of wisdom to each child. I really appreciated the effort they had made giving each child a word that they hoped would mean something to them. The word Kristin got could not have been better:

A winner never quits. Those who quit will never win. 

Now, this is something Kristin knows. This is why she says things like: Mom, I will go to bed in just a sec. Let me just do my five pull-ups first. But it was something I felt was a word for me and for the  world around me as well. 

I don’t know what challenges we all are faced with. Mine are different daily. Some are huge, like saving the Rohingya people from getting killed or starved to death. Others are not so big, in a world perspective, but big enough for me: How am I going to find the time to do all the stuff I need to do the next two weeks? Then there are personal challenges like making my time for my 10k just a little faster or getting up a little earlier so I can have a devotion. 

The thing I was reminded yesterday was that whatever the challenges are, if I quit, I will never experience the joy of overcoming, the joy of victory, however small that victory may be. 

My dance moves are not as smooth as Kristin’s, but quitting for that reason? No way!

So, as you continue on your day, remind yourself of this too: Winners don’t quit. Quitters don’t win. I want to be a winner. In the eyes of Jesus. In my own eyes. In the eyes of my children, my family and my close friends. And winning means overcoming obstacles. Different ones every day. Different ones for each one of us. 

44 reasons to like Steve

Today my husband Steve turns 44. Unfortunately for him, he is in Oslo and I am not. But I have thought about him a lot, if that counts, and promised him a party when he comes home. He is my best friend and there are a lot of reasons why. I just really like him, I guess. So finding 44 things to like about him was easy. I could have written 88 or 777 reasons, but I settled for the 44 first that came to my mind.

You may find it boring to read and that is OK too. You can stop reading at any time.

🙂

1. He says things that make me laugh
2. He has a cute nose
3. He loves God
4. He is a great Frisbee player
5. He reads interesting books
6. He motivates people
7. He is committed
8. He is very good when he speaks in public
9. He dances with me

10. He is articulate

11. He has a cute laugh

12. He is a great dad

13. He gets things done

14. He is not afraid to try new things

15. He is a good rock climber

16. He can be very convincing

17. He is romantic

18. He can fix stuff

19. He can run far

1. 20.  He gives good massages

21. He buys nice gifts

22. He likes incense

23. He lives for what is right and true

24. He is a good leader

25. He can build houses

26. He admits his mistakes

27. He downhill skis like a pro

28. He can carry stuff and lift stuff

29. He knows lots of trivia

30. He does not lie

31. He taught me to drive

32. He taught me to swim

33. He taught me to play tennis

34. He is the father of my daughters

35. He does off-road biking

36. He makes great fires

37. He looks cute when he rubs his eyes

38. He understands complicated stuff

39. He is forgiving

40. He doesn’t take himself too seriously

41. He can explain complicated stuff

42. He is patient

43. He likes to make our home pretty

44. He is my best friend

 

 

What is your favorite word?

A journalist recently did a long interview with me. I hope it will not make me look too bad…

After hours of talking, she also had a few very basic questions, that are standard questions for the type of article she would be writing, like what is your birthdate and your current title and where do you live.

There were some fun questions as well:

They are not cute. They are scary.

Do you have any phobias?

I did not need to think long about that one. I am scared to death by rats and mice. Cockroaches are gross, but I can handle them. Snakes too. And spiders. Mice and rats however make me lose my breath. Those beady eyes, the nose that moves all the time, the long tail, the stiff fur. I get the creeps.

Then they asked what did I want to become when I was a child.

I remember wanting to become a nurse because I liked their uniforms—starched hats and white dresses. In the early seventies when I was a small sprout in the farmlands of Norway, a nurse’s uniform was a dream outfit. I also wanted to become the prime minister, but that was later.

What am I good at, they asked.

I thought about what I am good at and felt like while I can do a lot, I am not super good at much. Like, I can go for a run, but not win a race. I can read books, but never get the best score in class. I think that I am a pretty good mother. I help my kids with homework and I feed them well. But I did not want to write that in case it sounded cheesy. So I said that I am good at making good food. Because this is really true. I make delicious food. Better than most.

Cooking is my secret weapon

What is your favorite word they also wanted to know.

I thought that was a hard question. I thought of it for a long time. I thought I probably should have said Love, Forgiveness, Generosity, Integrity or something big like that. But I thought about what word makes me happy without fail, what word that makes me excited to be alive and ready to take on anything. It’s not beer (although I thought about saying that that was my best word too). It is the Norwegian word for going for a walk, going for a hike, going skiing, trekking: TUR. That is my favorite word. TUR.

TUR

If I had been the newspaper I would have added a few more questions: What is your favorite possession? (Maybe they thought that was too materialistic.)

I have a lot of favorite possessions and I guess it depends on the situation. I love my slippers and they are the first thing I look for when I come home. I can’t walk in the house without my slippers. But something else I love is my computer. It is sad to say so, but so much of my life depends on my computer. I think I love it and hate it. It used to be my iPod. I could not run without it. But now I am bored of my music and too busy too find new so I don’t use it much. I love my desk. It is my own messy world.  My desk and my slippers. Boy, do I ever sound boring.

I think I would have asked what five items would I have brought to a desolate island too.

Let’s see: My journal, a pen, a blanket, a lighter and a knife. Or: My journal, a pen, a knife, a pot and a lighter. Or: A devotional like My utmost for his highest with blank pages in the back to journal, a pen, a knife, a lighter, a pot. Should I prioritize the journal? Such a hard choice.

I can go on and on. What would I bring if my house was on fire? Easy: All our photos. What’s the most useless item in my house? A potato washing glove.

How about you? What is your favorite word, your phobias, your childhood dreams and favorite possession? Who is the person you would like to have lunch with right now (except your spouse or mother)? I think…not Johnny Depp. I would feel too awkward. Perhaps Meryl Streep. I think we would have a lot to talk about. And of course: Aung San Suu Kyi. But she is so busy right now, running for an election and all.

In any case. I hate rats and I can cook great enchiladas, I like my slippers and to go for walks in all kinds of weather. I want to have Meryl Streep over for lunch, and I don’t want to become a nurse any more. My little exercise made me look quite eccentric. Sorry about that. I am a lot more exciting than you think. I hope.

Tur

Born to run?

I couldn't find a photo of me running. But walking is OK too. We were born to walk. Yes!

Today I had a great run. It was a perfect fall day, cool, sunny, yellow leaves in the forest, the smell of rotting vegetation. I had new shoes, a very green jacket, my tights and an orange head band. No chance I would be mistaken for a moose. The ground was soggy with water. It has been raining so much that some places there were big puddles I had to navigate over. I did not succeed in staying dry. Not at all. I was soaked by the end of the run.

I just finished a great book. It is called Born to Run. It sounds boring, especially if you are not a runner. But I really loved the book and the way it described the joy of running. You should read it if you are remotely interested.

Of the many things I learned from the book was that running is supposed to be enjoyable. Yeah, I know. Enjoyable. One of the things my sister once told me when I was going for a run and she was happy sitting inside reading her book was: I have yet to see a runner who smiles while running. That stuck with me.

So, back to the book. Chris Mc Dougall thinks we were all born to run. And after reading the book, you will too. And then it is the part about enjoying it.

The last couple of days I have gone for long runs. I decided to follow Mr. McDougall’s advice so I ran slow, took short steps, smiled, and when I started feeling like it was hard work, I slowed down. I even decided to drop the iPod because getting the right kind of music always stresses me out. I decided to just listen to nature and the silence around me.

It has been the best two runs of the year. Honestly.

So I thought about life, in the quiet of the forest, as I was skipping over and through puddles. Life is like a run. We can choose to run it the way we want. We can rush through it, time ourselves, cuss through the intervals, get feet and knee injuries, run out of good playlists, compare ourselves to the others, compete with the best and lose. Or we can decide that we run for the sake of the run. We enjoy the moment, we slow down, we breathe deeply, we listen to the music around us. And we end the race refreshed and ready to start over again the next day.

Tomorrow I will find a new place to run and I am looking forward to it. I am starting to think I was Born to run.

Of course we were born to run. Just look at kids. Kristin and her friend running in the mountains.